December 14, 2004
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MODERN DYSFUNCTION DEPT.
Pillow Talk: Pygmalion and Galatea Act II
Something for everybody this holiday season (these people really need to get together):
A girl should always be able to arm herself
This, seriously to me is a tragic statement about the “distance” many “modernists” value as independence today. Ultimately people need each other, even if it has in some quarters arguably become more taboo to admit to than it has become to actually own just such a substitute seemingly straight out of the prop closet.
There once was a movie in the 1980’s about a lonely guy who fell in love with a mannequin and we used to call such “humor-through-absurdity.” The ancient Greeks had a story as well, which in fact was the story upon which the movie twenty years ago was loosely based; we used to call it Greek myth.
Today we see that shockingly but not surprisingly, some men and women similar to those in the photos shown above or movie and myth have actually conceded defeat in their desire for human companionship of any kind, instead accepting a lie which in the end produces a loneliness compounded by an ocean of regrets from a life missed out on- the worst kind possible. Though this ultimately is the choice of each person, I think it a tragedy when we so retreat into isolation that we lose all form of meaningful contact in the bidirectional give and take that our human existence craves, in order to hide behind the short lived safety of a dummy, or perhaps other distractions.
Sadly for many, emotional candy is the substitute of choice for the nourishment they really need, walling themselves off with the illusion of fulfillment as a result. It would seem then they have merely kept themselves sufficiently from the feeling of loneliness for awhile long enough to prevent their being compelled, as is the way of things in nature, to go out and find a suitable mate (not to mention general human contact).
In many parts of Japan, as well as many other parts of the world people are literally surrounded by millions of other people, yet more often than elsewhere those who dwell in the most populous areas feel the greatest isolation, not seeing the trees for the forest. I know it’s a cliché, but really, folks should try to simply slow down a bit and take the time they need to see the opportunities around them for relationship-building throughout their day. I think the sales figures for those “human” pillows should tell us as much. If each of those who buys one would instead at the same time step outside his or her front door and greet those they saw, there is little doubt they would in the long run find themselves a lot happier and more fulfilled than otherwise, with the added benefit of leaving a worthwhile mark on society and saving some bling along the way. It is most unfortunate that the two models featured above and those who end up buying these products could be giving to others and having that gift of attention reciprocated by those nearby but instead decide to effectively smother their dreams and their lives with a pillow.
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Comments (4)
This is a wonderfully thoughtful post, and I suppose it fits in a tiny bit with the uproar over at my site regarding breast implants and so forth.
It is so true that everything is so fastfastfast these days, that many have just given up on even the hope of finding mutual love with another human being; particularly in big cities such as those in Japan. Certainly there is the opportunity to go to clubs and connect with another person, but it’s only temporary, a surface connection. It never goes deeper. Thus, as you said; the concession of defeat is the saddest part of all of this.
That said, I do think it’s interesting to watch because of the way the age of marriage has been pushed back to older and older ages in the past several years. I do believe that many are searching, and getting human contact and making fun and so forth, but have not yet found that one person. But that longing for contact and affection doesn’t necessarily go away; perhaps this is (oh so sadly) the only way they can find it.
Terrific post.
I agree with your point about the shallowness of some social venues. I think it’s critical in finding that “one person” many out there are looking for to already have a base of close friends and other important human connections, which offer the broader contextual foundation upon which a genuine familiarity with a prospective mate can develop, although there are none in existence such as perfect conditions. I think it is however immensely helpful being out there and giving oneself into the lives of others and I think it puts him or her on a footing much more suitable for the demands and interrelating of a dedicated mate relationship, whereas choosing isolation only creates a breeding ground for selfish inflexibility (and I use “breeding ground” gingerly here, of course).
Though relationship-building is an imperfect art which at its best can only aim for the most caring and giving of mutual circumstances, it would seem finding serious solace in a stuffed animal – stuffed anything(!!) is fairly distant from such a paradigm.
I’m a menance
I play tennis
In my house
In my room
Didn’t know a racket
Could hit a lamp and crack it
I smell doo
In my room
Happy Holidays from the Illingworth girls… lol… and they’re very, ummm, unique holiday carols (to the tune of Frère Jacques).
LOL! gracias- you have very creative munchkins. Have a happy New Year.