October 13, 2004

• 
  

  PLANET MORONIA

  
  

   

  
  

  

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

  The “Oh, Really” Factor Not to fall into the trap of the same old dull news of the hour here’s something you’ll enjoy. We happen to have a little parody for you that we’ll get to in a sec. If you’ve been following the revelation brought out today by Matt Drudge that Bill O’Reilly, a commentator on the American cable Fox News Channel as well as of his own syndicated radio show is being accused of sexual harassment, then you are probably looking forward to a legal case that could quickly become another political battlefield- even though many conservatives would rather not be thought of in the populist host’s camp.

  
  

   

  
  

  A lot of people seem to think that in the very least Mr. “O” was having some kind of extra-marital affaire and are also suspicious of the timing of the whole thing going public just three weeks out from the elections. They also point to the fact the woman left Fox News earlier in the year to work for CNN and then returned and accepted what amounted to a pay cut to work with O’Reilly again, even though she claims the harassment was full blown back when she originally worked with Fox. Still, it may be quite unlikely the case comes to any sort of conclusion until long after voters cast their ballots on 02 November, barring any kind of settlement. Obviously the allegations still need to be fleshed out and complete insanity aside, O’Reilly’s team does see a strategic benefit in bringing the matter out now (again also with the overall timing in mind both with regard to the case and in a broader scope) – something which could land them in hot water for “abuse of process” unless they provide good reason for doing so. Settlements seem right now at least to be fairly unlikely, since that is exactly one of the things Mr. O’Reilly’s attorney preemptively sued to avoid, calling the idea instead “extortion”.

  
  

   

  
  

  According to the complaint by the woman who alleges harassment, Andrea Mackris, the talk show host is quoted making several offensive and imposing statements and judging by the detail of the quotes it has led many to speculate if she will produce those statements on tape. On the other hand, the complaint does not have any of her own statements from those alleged conversations, which draws into question the context under which O’Reilly was quoted, assuming there is no valid tape. A context which seems to hint at being somewhat broader than the allegations have revealed. That, along with the patently political anti-Bush, anti-Fox statements in the beginning of the complaint are likely two areas that O’Reilly’s team will focus on, along with any connections to relevant political interests or those seeking to dethrone O’Reilly, Fox News et al for whatever reason. But let’s move on to the fun…

  
  

  
  
  

  Somewhat Important Note: Before reading you need to properly set the mood by clicking the fine MIDI file linked here.

  
  

   

  
  

  Enjoy!

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

  Caca Moolah

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

  ( Duet with Bill O’Reilly and Andrea Mackris )
  
  A loofa, Jamaica, ooo I wanna take you
  Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
  Key Largo, Montego, baby why don’t we go
  
  Far from Fox News
  There’s a place called Kokomo
  That’s where you wanna go to get away from it all
  
  Bodies in the sand
  Tropical drink melting in your hand
  We’ll be falling in love
  In the shower, won’t it be grand
  Down in Kokomo
  
  A loofa, Jamaica, ooo I wanna take you
  To Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
  Key Largo, Montego, baby why don’t we go
  
  Ooo …. I wanna take you down at Kokomo
  We’ll get there fast
  And then we’ll take it slow
  That’s where we wanna go
  Way down to Kokomo …
  
  To my attorny, CNN behind the scenes
  
  We’ll put out to sea
  And we’ll perfect our chemistry
  By the end you’ll see the gravity
  
  Afternoon delight
  Cocktails and moonlit nights
  That divergent look in your eye
  Give me a topical contract high
  Way down in Kokomo …

  
  

   

  
  

  You say,
  
  A loofa, Jamaica, ooo I wanna take you
  To Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
  Key Largo, Montego, baby why don’t we go
  
  Ooo … I wanna take you down to Kokomo
  We’ll get there fast
  And then you’ll know
  That where you’re gonna go
  Is the poor house with the hobos …
  
  Port Au Prince you wanna catch a glimpse
  
  Everybody knows
  A little place like Kokomo
  Now if you wanna go
  And get away from it all
  Go down to Kokomo …
  
  A loofa, Jamaica, ooo I wanna take you
  To Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
  Key Largo, Montego, baby why don’t we go
  
  Ooo … I wanna take you down to Kokomo
  Kerry’s still down
  And it’s a winding road
  That’s where we wanna go
  Take down that Fox, you know…
  
  A loofa, Jamaica. ooo I wanna take you
  To Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
  Key Largo, Montego, baby why don’t we go
  
  Ooo … I wanna take you down to Kokomo
  We’ll get there fast
  And then we’ll take it slow
  That’s where we’re gonna go ….

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

  

  
  

  ____________________________________________________________

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

  PLANET MORONIA

  • 8:00 pm
  • 2 Comments