September 10, 2003

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  Blogbat Interrealities 101 – Blogbat on Interrelationships

  
  

  by Sickman très Froid

  
  

   

  
  

  How to Handle “Weirdness”

  
  

  …at parties, lunch or anywhere else you happen to be by choice

  
  

   

  
  

  Blogbat, as many others, has had encounters with "weirdness" occasionally in his life and from this he thought He would post some of the things he learned from them. This article was originally written awhile ago, but it never escaped.

  
  

   

  
  

  Has this ever been your mantra: "Another day concluded, another night with "stupids". I find my solace in this breath, the moment now the shortbus left."

  
  

   

  
  

  Today Blogbat is going to write a little bit on "weirdness" aka the kind of "funkiness" that we sometimes encounter in certain social situations. As luck would have it, many of us have gone to some sort of social event, be it an office party, your best friend's cousin's daughter's wedding shower or some collegiate student organization event...or just with a friend to hang out with some of his or her acquaintances and ran face to face into where the odd reality out manned your "safest" expectations. You suddenly feel some uneasy weirdness happening. You're pretty sure it's not you because you showered (today), don't have any boogers or food clinging to your face and basically, you are the same person you always are - and of course you know your friends like you and everybody's comfortable when you hang out with them. But the feeling grows and you begin to feel as if you had intruded upon some strange mars-watchers unitarian society secret meeting and that your being there is preventing them from finishing the business at hand.

  
  

   

  
  

  Such occasional awkward experiences are unfortunately part of life, but Blogbat has learned some neat tricks in handling them. But first, some definitions are in order.

  
  

   

  
  

  By "weird" I don't mean those people who like to play the bongos while sacrificing chickens on the doorsteps of their neighbors (I don't mean that usually, but it would be sort of a funny story to tell your friends later...tip: you had better bring a camera). I mean two kinds of "weird", really.

  
  

   

  
  

  The first kind of weird is one in which everybody's speaking English, but you still aren't speaking what they're speaking.

  
  

   

  
  

  Secondly, we find the kind of weird in which there is some not-quite tangible air of pervading dysfunction among some of the key people (or heck, all of the people) which may or may not start off as something you think is quaint and cute but invariably finally becomes a thing you just shake your head at as you find your way to the door saying things to yourself or your friend like, "how did I stumble in here", "does so-and-so really think these people are cool?", "Did I get the right address?", " (praying) please don't let me be like them", or worst of all, "did I hear/see/etc. what I think I just heard/saw/etc.?"

  
  

   

  
  

  1. Acknowledge you have just entered a den of people who are "different" - their planet is not your planet. By not denying this you can move on to the next important step.

  
  

   

  
  

  2. Honestly assess your chances of gaining anything from the experience. In most cases, be it business or personal remaining in this "Addams'" surrounding can only make you seem awkward to them who, in turn may broadcast to the world the next day at work or wherever that you are an odd, nervous one when in fact what they saw was a special performance just for them on behalf of their weirdness. Now you are ready for a set of two options in the next step. Choose carefully!

  
  

   

  
  

  3a. If you decide to remain, do so only under the most extreme of conditions. E.g. If your life depends on it, your job (actually) depends on it or you have your wife or some "normal" friend with you who is by your side ready to help you make light of the experience so that it becomes good fodder for weeks of laughter. Generally, your reputation will not depend on remaining, though not taking a timely exit could do some harm.

  
  

   

  
  

  3b. If you decide to go, you should already know an exit strategy which you have chosen from a list of good possible candidates before arriving at this event. It is vital that you do this in order to maintain intact the coolness factor, your ominatingly perceived social savoir faire as well as your overall sanity. The quicker you ditch those digs the better you'll feel. One need not ever feel guilty for extricating him-or herself from things such as these. Rather, you should feel better about yourself for your keen sense of what's going down and taking corrective action to allow yourself a pleasant out and a night of perhaps more fun if not just peace and normality instead of the hellish one you might have spent had you remained at the event out of some sense of guilt or by questioning your own ability to call a spade a spade. So this tactic is a win-win.

  
  

   

  
  

  Granted, you may never see Bob at the office the same way again, but at least you were not weird enough to stay through to the bitter end. You have a life. 

  
  

   

  
  

  Such things are learning experiences about yourself and about people, but don't feel too bad if days, even weeks later you remember your odd ordeal and still for no explainable reason furrow your brow and shake your head because yes, you really did see that and yes, it was that whacked.

  
  

   

  
  

  Blogbat Interrealities 101 – Blogbat on Interrelationships

  
  

   

  
  

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  • 4:25 pm
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