August 11, 2003
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The daily Poo
“Look stimpy! eet's Poooooo!”
Okay, here's some of what went down today
1. Got a Starbucks frap.
2. Let the dog out. (yes, I did it, "woof, woof woof")
3. Checked my e-mail, foxnews, drudgereport, yadda yadda.
4. I looked for financially solvent companies
5. Worked, ran errands
6. I attempted bloggage but Xanga was down again. Glad I am getting my money's worth...
8. Getting ready for music practice
6. started typing this puppy.
What is Your Expression Score?
Today, I sent an e-mail to a family member who works at an executive position at a major nationally-known hospital and in this fine and dandy, benign-looking message was a joke I had recently read on one of the political message boards I frequent. Knowing his political disposition...not to mention his disposition in general, I thought he would really enjoy it.
But within mere moments I received a warm reply from the e-mail server, in my family member’s stead, rejecting my not-so-exceedingly-tawdry message and its contents for violating an appearent e-mail language policy set forth recently by newly hired technology guru’s who, from appearences here, just immigrated from Afghanistan. Worse yet, on (mostly) trumped up charges, no less! Just like those bloody Taliban, I say.
At any rate, here is my auto-flame:
-----Original Message-----
From: Email Admin
Gesendet: Sonntag, 10. August 2003 16.01 Uhr
An: (Me)
Betriff: St. So & So's Hospital Email Policy Notification
St. So & So's Hospital email system is intended for business purposes. This email was intercepted as violating the company's offensive inbound email policy and will not be delivered to the recipient. Should this email have been intercepted inadvertently, please reply to this message and insert the words 'NOT OFFENSIVE' in the Subject line and attach the original message. The email will be viewed before being forwarded onto the intended recipient. If this is personal and confidential, please find an alternate method of delivery.
Message information:
Date: 08/10/2003, 04:00:56 PM
To: "Relative" <yaddayaddayadda>
Subject: Hillary Joke
Reason:
List:Offensive (Weighted)
Found the expression "ba***rd" 6 times, at 3 points each, for an expression score of 18 points. =============================================================
Total Message Score: 18 points.
...Ticking off the e-mail admin: Priceless.
I rarely, if ever send jokes with even moderate „language“, but this one was just too relavant to the story. I guess that was enough to have my e-mail message Tali-banned.
Unfortunately, the system really doesn’t help by showing you how to score really big, which removes some of the fun. Plus, I was surprised "Hillary" wasn't at least worth a few...but I suppose technology is a work in progress.
He did get the modified one I resent, which slipped past the not-so slick politburo. As with most filtering software, adding a random character usually does the trick.
I think I will save the message and use it to reply to anybody I don’t wish to communicate with electronically however, since that could be useful. To add even more punch, I secured a mailer-daemon email address awhile back from an ISP (they forgot to reserve it). Not only does this address cause me to receive hundreds of stupid notification emails from other servers a day, but on the bright side it gives me really authentic looking message-rejected replies I can send to people and other servers.
Oh, and if you were interested in the joke itself, here it is below (how could I leave you in suspense?)
Enjoy!
(FYI, this is one of the very FEW times I publish PG stuff in here...ya know, try to keep it clean so my dog can surf it safely. Dogs are pretty corrupt to begin with, so I try my very best to Christianize them.)
Hark! The offending joke:
Hillary Clinton Pregnant
Hillary Clinton went in for her annual checkup. When she was finished, she asked her gynecologist how things looked. He responded, "I'm pleased to tell you that not only are you in great condition, but you're a month pregnant, too!
"Hillary told the doctor there was no way, but he said that she most definitely was a month pregnant. She stormed out of the office, went to the receptionist, grabbed a phone and called Bill.
When the receptionist/intern answered, she announced herself and demanded to speak to Bill right away. So she rang his office and Bill answered.
Hillary said, "Do you know what you did, you rotten Bä***rd? You got me pregnant!!!"
The President remained silent.
Again, Hillary screamed, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID, YOU ROTTEN BÄ***RD? YOU GOT ME PREGNANT!!!"
Finally Bill answered, "Who is this?"
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